2013 April 5
Today we are leaving our home in a Bere. Yesterday morning our plan was to continue leading out in the Bible school. After Dr. Danae saw Melody Wendesday, her advice was, "Get on the next plane out of Chad."
I try to make sense of it all. I am greatly confused. First, I think, "Impossible. The devil can't stop me from doing God's work." God has brought us this far through many challenges and trials. He is blessing the work. Is He abandoning us now? No, most certainly not, He never leaves us nor forsakes us.
It looks like premature labor could begin at anytime. If the baby is born at 28 weeks in Chad, statistics say he will surely die. But in the States, he would almost surely live. We do not know the future. Nor is God limited to statistics. We ask God to give us wisdom. He has blessed us wonderfully so far. It seems best to go.
But what about the souls of our dear students? Some are in the balance, wanting to commit their lives fully to God, but needing encouragement to do so. They are hungry and thirsty for truth. Who will feed them if we leave? We have to leave these questions in God's hands. We pray that the devil will be defeated so that Nadege can finally enter Chad.
Gary took us to Ndjamena the morning of our flight. Being so busy packing and tying up my many project responsibilities, I had not had time to be very emotional yet. But as we take off and I see our village gradually fade behind us, I am overwhelmed with emotion. As we fly by the church and think about the students there right now, I feel like I am being torn in two. Tears roll uncontrollably, mixing with sweat down my cheeks. I feel defeated. We are finally realizing our dream of 4 years, and now I have to leave. I have been pouring my prayers and energy into this, and feel like we are abandoning an important work. It is like a piece of me is ripped off and remains forever in Chad. I stare out the window and cry until our village fades out of view.
We still have many why questions. We still do not know answers. Right now we are 34,000 feet over the north Atlantic. God is answering our prayers. Melody is still ok and has two seats to lie down on. In five hours, we will be in the States close to medical care if needed.
Our thoughts turn toward the coming happy reunion with family and friends. We must leave our cares at Jesus' feet. He knows the future. We continue to pray that our first child will be a strong and committed missionary. We are happy for all of God's blessings.
When we daily lay our plans before Jesus and ask Him to take control, we must be ready and happy to follow wherever He leads. May we always faithfully follow Him.
P.S. We are in Washington waiting for our final connecting flight. Now in the States, we are closer to competent medical care. We praise God that Melody is still stable and has been able to lie down a fair amount. Thank you everybody who is praying. God has heard our prayers.